Kehilat Hadar Holiday Retreat Brings Community Together

By LILI KALISH

With 230 participants, Kehilat Hadar's recent holiday retreat heralded a new phase for the growing community which began, namelessly and without a fixed location, in May of 2001 on Manhattan's Upper West Side.

Hadar's first annual Shavuot retreat, which was held on May 16th through 19th at Camp Ramah in the Berkshires, was based on the idea of building community for the wandering congregation. Says gabbai (coordinator) Jessica Lissy, "It was really important to us that we build a sense of community, but through substantive things-learning together, davening together, hanging out together."

From the very beginning, says founder Elie Kaunfer, their primary goal was "to focus on the service itself-to make the davening the best it can be for a traditional egalitarian service." Word of the minyan quickly spread, and by the summer services were standing room only. A year later, Hadar, which boasts an email list with more than a thousand names, continues to search for a makom tefila (place of prayer) large enough to accommodate its ever-growing ranks.

But while the organizers were thrilled with their success, they realized that the minyan, though it had been praying together for a year, was not yet a community in all senses of the word. Notes Kaunfer, "It's hard to build a community when you meet only for Shabbat morning services every other week." To this end, Hadar threw two rousing holiday parties for Purim and Lag Ba'Omer, drawing hundreds of 20 and 30 somethings from around the city.

The centerpiece of the May retreat was an all night Tikkun Layl Shavuot, which included traditional text learning as well as philosophy, song, poetry and improvisation. The weekend's full schedule of events included workshops on Yoga and Shiatsu massage, study sessions on the halakhic (legal) bases of egalitarianism, and a panel on Israel, as well as lots and lots of unplanned singing and dancing.

"There was this whole world going on, meeting new people, forming new experiences. It was this full-on experience, " recounted Julia Andelman, a Hadar regular.

One of the special parts of the retreat was how interdenominational it managed to be. Commented Andelman, "The spectrum of observance and background was really broad, but somehow everyone was into doing the same things together."

"I was surprised at how comfortable I did feel," says Nili Schiffman, a Modern Orthodox Upper West Sider who was new to egalitarian prayer.

The retreat was deemed a success by planners and attendees alike. The newly bonded community had its first test when one of the retreat attendees lost her father while she was away for the holiday. In the following weeks, says Kaunfer, "the outpouring of support was amazing." Within a matter of days, community members helped this woman form the only daily egalitarian mincha/ma'ariv minyan on the Upper West Side, so that she could say kaddish for her father.

And back at Shabbat services, says Lissy, people are already feeling warmer. The retreat has generated enthusiasm for the addition of High Holiday services to Hadar's repertoire as well as more "innovative and out-of-the-box" activities where people can get together and learn, sing and get to know each other.

Hadar welcomes all new attendees. For more information on the community and to find out its next meeting place, go to www.kehilathadar.org.

Lili Kalish is minyan hopper who lives and works in New York City.